“We are like a family over here”, said Naima, a 29-year old
living in a Dar-ul-Aman located amidst a posh area of an urban city.
“Yes, sometimes we do feel sad or lonely, but after all this
is our home and we've got ourselves a decent and respectful life here”
Dar-ul-Aman, the Persian word for the “The house of peace”
has since long remained a refuge for those who are elderly, dependent or
impoverished. Critics have always analyzed the pros and cons of this part of
society and have impressed their point-of-view to justify their perception.
Let us have a brief encounter of both sides of the coin
concerning this matter.
Imagine a woman who has, by the hands of fate, been forced to
live a life of loneliness either due to the death of her partner or her father.
Where would she go, considering the harsh society which perceives a lone female
both suspicious and vulnerable? Is this her fault or the fault of the society in
which she is forced to live?
Putting fate aside, the crippling economic conditions and
increasing cost of living in our country has forced even the women to come out
and earn their bread and butter. For a women who has someone to protect her and
cater for her needs, leaving her home to work might be feasible and relatively
comfortable. But a desolate lady is prone to the societal hounds and both her
dignity and honor seems to be a susceptible to disgrace.
In such circumstances, Dar-ul-aman acts as a safe haven
providing both shelter and honor. Vocational skills are utilized by the women
living there to earn their living. This not only has created self-employment
opportunities for them but has also contributed towards the growth of small and
cottage industries in the country.
On the other hand, there is a darker side to the story as in
any other case. Some people disparage this set-up and insist that Dar-ul-aman
have contributed negatively towards the betterment of the society.
On a particular note, they have acted as a reason for some
stonehearted males to abandon their dependent ones. While on another note, they
have been alleged of being developed into cradles of moral wrongdoings. Since
those who are inducted in such setups are secluded and have no family-person to
care for them, their being maltreated, abducted or disgraced doesn’t affect
anyone except for their friends or those fellows living with them in the
sanctuary, the ones to whom they refer to as “our family members”.
This conspiracy theory has been further aired by the source
of funds, which according to the locals are private and undisclosed.
Even if someone binds himself from believing the above arguments,
one cannot certainly deny the fact that some women are spending their lives
rather than living them.
The authorities may be blamed for not providing adequate
opportunities and funds to the Dar-ul-aman or the society may be blamed for
their mental perception in not providing a congenial working environment. But
will this debate even matter if we do not take up practical steps to address
this issue?
The facts have been laid, both the sides of the coin have
been shown, both sides of the story have been narrated, and now in the end, the
conclusion is for you, to deduct.
